pain is what makes me compare, a classic散文

30 years ago, I was still a small boy. While walking through rural areas, I noticed the rare availability of bicycles and started riding them. That day, my biggest aspiration became clear: during my Christmas holidays, ride a bicycle to a town where the Chinese New Year celebration would be fun. To save myself from the 15-mile journey walking, which was time-consuming and uncomfortable.

20 years ago, by then, in rural areas, the richer families began owning motorcycles. Whenever I saw them driving past my old bike, I suffered greatly at night—失眠了。我最渴望的就是有一辆 motorcycle。

10 years ago, when smaller towns and rural communities began seeing the appearance of personal bikes, I began riding them on foot. I wanted to be protected by a long rectangular sports object.

5 years ago, I began using this type of bike—called "面包" (small bike)—"to travel from village to village". But at the same time, my mind was growing accustomed to the idea of two-wheeled vehicles.
3 years ago, finally, I started using a small car named桑特纳 (Santana) that could ride smoothly through the streets. But my heart was racing with the thought of a streamlined shape!

2 years ago, the streamlined shape had solved itself; however, it was still causing me to grumble and think about business cars.

And so on, I continued to compare myself to others in life. The comparison would sometimes bring pain, some would cause pleasure, but ultimately, through this process of self-comparison, I began to understand how my inner world was shaped by the external world.